


until this day our hearts have yearned

by leapylion3



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Kink Meme, Nostalgia, Pre-A Game of Thrones, Pre-Canon, Pre-Series, Swimming, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leapylion3/pseuds/leapylion3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theon slipped off of his seat, shoulders hunched. He murmured his courtesies and bowed to each of the Umbers and Karstarks. They barely took notice of the small boy; he was always so quiet. Nobody really ever paid attention to him, not when it mattered. As Cat watched him slump out of the room, she feared that she’d done the same as everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	until this day our hearts have yearned

**Author's Note:**

> title from Neil Finn's Song of the Lonely Mountain 
> 
> written for the [kink meme](http://asoiafkinkmeme.livejournal.com/%22) with the prompt: _Cat grew up between great rivers, Theon on an island surrounded by the sea. Cat found a new life she loved at Winterfell with her husband and her children. Theon doesn’t really remember his family. But the one thing they both never stop missing is the water. They bond over how nobody else understands how awesome swimming, sailing, fishing, etc. is._
> 
> thanks to [Char](http://archiveofourown.org/users/aergia/) for the beta

“Theon.” Catelyn cleared her throat and the boy looked up at her with impossibly wide eyes. His fingers were still thrust into the large glass of water in front of him, swirling around and splashing a few drops onto the table. Normally, Catelyn would not have minded so much, but they had the Karstarks and Umbers over as guests. They had to make a good impression, as their liege lords. And, although it always hurt for her to think of it, Theon had to behave especially well, given his status as a…

_Hostage_ , a voice at the back of her mind hissed. It was a cruel voice, sharp and accusing.

_Prisoner_.

No, Theon was much more than that. He was an innocent boy and had nothing to do with his father’s rebellion. He was a ward, a _guest_ , treated as well at Catelyn’s own children, just like Jon Snow. It was all because of Ned’s gentle nature; she might not have always agreed with him, but it was simply how he was. Only the gods knew what would have happened to the two boys, had Ned not taken them in.

“I’m sorry, Lady Stark,” Theon mumbled, and she would have scolded him, since mumbling was rude, but she clamped her mouth shut at the dejected look in his eyes. She’d had her eye on him as well as the other children for most of the night. What could she have possibly missed? He seemed fine moments ago…hadn’t he? Her motherly instincts kicked in, and for a moment she feared that Ned was beginning to rub off on her.

“Theon, is everything alright?”

He hadn’t removed his hand from the glass of water, and was focused on the small puddle accumulating on the floor. “I-I suppose so. I’m just tired, is all.” Catelyn knew a lie when she heard one. He tried to offer a tiny smile, but it looked more like a wince. “May I please be excused?”

Ned turned his head and scrutinized the boy. “You may. But it’s straight to bed, yes? No funny business.” He spoke softly as he always did to his own children, his brow furrowed in concern.

Theon slipped off of his seat, shoulders hunched. He murmured his courtesies and bowed to each of the Umbers and Karstarks. They barely took notice of the small boy; he was always so quiet. Nobody really ever paid attention to him, not when it mattered. As Cat watched him slump out of the room, she feared that she’d done the same as everyone else.

* * *

 

“My lady!” one of the maids- _Freya_ , Catelyn remembered- called breathlessly, scurrying after Catelyn in the courtyard of Winterfell. “I-I think you are needed in the bathhouse. Lord Theon is being a bit… _uncooperative_.” Her face showed that even she was confused and could not put the situation into words. Cat could only hope that he wasn’t up to mischief. How much trouble could an eleven-year-old boy get into?

Even from across the courtyard, she heard him and another one of the maids fighting to talk- or _scream_ \- over one another.

Eleven-year-old boys _could_ get into a lot of trouble.

“What’s the matter with him?” Cat asked, picking up her skirts and following Freya into the bathhouse. He had always been a stubborn little thing, adamant and insistent, but never _troublesome_. In all her years, Catelyn had never heard of a boy his age having a temper tantrum Sansa the little toddler would envy.

“Perhaps you should see for yourself, my lady.” Freya slipped inside the partially open door and Catelyn did the same. The steam from the hot bath hit her hard and it took a few moments for her breathing to adjust. When Cat no longer felt as if she was going to suffocate, she turned to Freya. “Laya and I thought that he might listen to you.”

“I’ll try my best.” Catelyn gave leave to the maids, who eagerly left the bathhouse. With a sigh, Cat knelt down at the edge of the bath, careful not to get her clothing wet. “Theon? Is everything alright?” The marble floors were soaked, and he did not stop splashing and hitting the water.

“No,” he gritted out, visibly seething. His fingertips were wrinkled, looking as if a prune hung from each of his digits. “I’m sure I’m embarrassing you in front of your guests. I’m _terribly_ sorry, Lady Stark.” He looked like Balon Greyjoy there, as Ned had described him: full of hate and anger and _longing_. But Theon was a boy, a _good_ boy, nothing like his father or his brothers.

“Theon, tell me what’s wrong. I won’t leave until you do.” He was unrelenting, refusing to look at her, with his arms crossed over his chest. “Mayhaps I can help you if you tell me. I only want to help you.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I am thousands of leagues away from my home. My brothers died, and the rest of the family I have _gave me up_.” He finally glanced up, tears in his dark eyes. “Can you believe that?” He spoke so low Cat had to lean in to hear him. “My father _let them take me_. How can you give up your child like that?”

For once, Catelyn was speechless. She knew that nothing she would say could remedy the situation. He was _hurt_ and he felt _betrayed_. What he said was true, though far blunter and direct than Catelyn had ever heard it be said. She could sugar-coat it no longer. He already knew.

“I used to go swimming with my mother and Asha- that’s my sister. We would wake up bright and early and go to the beach. The water was always cold, but…” Theon shrugged a shoulder. “I liked it. It was better than all the lessons with our maester at least. Most things were better than that, actually.”

He was homesick, this poor child.  Catelyn knew what that was like, had longed for the streams and rivers of her castle for years now. She loved Winterfell, and she loved her husband and their children and the life she had here. But the lakes and rivers were something else entirely. She had practically _lived_ in them, pretending to be a beautiful mermaid and bathing in the sun.

“I wanted to be a kraken. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be, really. I thought that maybe I’d fit in that way.” The boy stared at his fingers, counting and examining the crinkles in them. “My father always said I’d never be a kraken, not a _real_ one. And then he sent me away.” Catelyn’s heart ached; in that instant she knew that Balon meant he would never be a true Greyjoy.

“Your home is here, with us,” Catelyn said finally. She found his hand and gave it a light squeeze, then gently tugged. “Come, now. You’ll turn into a prune yourself if you stay in here any longer.” She helped him out of the bath and grabbed a towel. She dried him off, humming quietly, and he stood as still as a statue.

“I think I’m going to skip supper again, if that’s alright with you, Lady Stark.”

She helped him into his clothes and reluctantly nodded. “Shall I have some food sent up for you?” He was a growing boy and needed to eat. She hoped that him skipping meals would not become a regular occurrence.

“It’s alright.” She stood up and he stopped her before she could put a hand on his shoulder. “I can make it back to my chambers by myself, my lady. I don’t want to trouble you further.” His cloak was too big on him, and as he walked away, the billowing fabric seemed to swallow him whole.

* * *

 

She entered his chambers without knocking in the early hours of the morn. He was already half-awake, fumbling blindly for a glass of water on his nightstand. Catelyn picked it up and offered it to him with a wide smile. Theon just about jumped out of his skin, and Cat had to bite her lip to prevent herself from laughing. Perhaps she should have announced her presence first, but she wanted to keep the element of surprise on her side.

“Rise and shine,” she said, sitting on the edge of his bed. He chugged the glass of water in a few short moments, then looked up at her with questioning eyes. “I have a surprise for you.”

“I…what about breakfast? And getting dressed?”

She shrugged, just remembering now that she was merely in a thin nightgown with a dressing robe over it. “There will be plenty of time for that later.” She helped him out of bed and he took one of her hands, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the other. His pillow was damp from going to bed with soaking hair and…she wished he hadn’t been crying, but that was probably the truth.

He kept asking her where they were going, but she did not utter a word. They went the long way around, taking twists and turns so he would not know their destination. He was beginning to get impatient, as every child did when they were uncertain. His grip on her hand only tightened each time he asked, as if he was afraid to let go. _I wouldn’t take you anywhere you don’t want to go, Theon._

“Close your eyes,” she whispered. He eyed her quizzically, but eventually obeyed. Their steps slowed and she kept an arm around his shoulders. He was muttering things to himself, promises of being brave and that nothing would ever harm him. _I won’t let them hurt you_.

“Lady Stark,” the boy mumbled when he stumbled over a thin, fallen branch. She caught him in time and held him to her, allowing him a few moments to regain his balance. “Are we there yet?”

“Yes. We’re here.” His delighted gasp was music to her ears. He ran to the edge of the hot springs, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I thought you might like to see it.” He had been in Winterfell for a year, though not often had he been allowed to roam around on his own, much less been outside the castle walls. I know it’s not the ocean, but hopefully me waking you up bright and early is enough.” She smiled and joined him, toeing off her slippers and sitting with her feet in the water.

“I love it, Lady Stark. Really, I do.” A silent tear trickled down his cheek. He pulled off his boots and threw them aside. “Can I go swimming? It’s been so long.”

“A kraken belongs in the water.” They shared a grin, and at the same time, jumped into the water. It was warm, steam floating in the air and making her eyes sting ever so slightly, but it was wonderful. “I grew up in the water, too, you know. It was hard leaving it behind.”

“Come to the Iron Islands with me, Lady Stark.” Theon let himself be picked up by her. His small legs wrapped around her waist and he buried his face in her neck. “Have you ever been on a boat? My uncle used to take me out on his. I would pretend that I was a pirate, the captain of the ship.”

Cat chuckled at the thought of Theon with an eyepatch and golden teeth. “I was very young when I was on a boat. Your age, or perhaps younger. I don’t remember it much.” She stroked his hair and felt him smile. He was light for a boy his age, and she regretted letting him skip supper the night before.

“I’ll take you on a boat. Come with me, when I go back. I’ll be the captain, and…and Robb can be my first mate! Jon can come, too, if he wants.” Cat’s jaw clenched at that, but he kept rambling on. “I don’t know if Sansa and Arya are old enough…but, I suppose, by the time I go back, they will be, right?”

“Aye, that’s in a long time. But you’ll be the greatest captain to sail the seas.” She pressed the barest of kisses to his temple. “Don’t forget about us, though. Come back to visit.”

He pulled away and grinned at her so widely a part of her feared that his face would split in half. “I will, Lady Stark. I promise.”

They swam for the rest of the morning, not caring that their clothes were absolutely soaked. Ned finally found them before breakfast, his brow furrowed in confusion. Robb and Jon trailed after him, pouting and watching as Theon dived into the hot springs.

“Is everything…alright?” Ned asked.

Catelyn and Theon both laughed and nodded eagerly. “Everything’s _fine_ ,” she assured him, lifting Theon into the air and throwing him back into the water. He was giggling incessantly when he broke the surface. “Why don’t all of you come and join us?” She did not even think about Jon’s presence, yet for a reason she could not place her finger upon, she did not mind having him there that day.

There, in the water, Catelyn knew that Balon Greyjoy was wrong; his son _was_ a kraken.


End file.
